Back to School After Summer: Evidence-Based Tips for International Families Living Abroad

The end of summer can bring mixed feelings for children and parents: excitement about seeing friends again, sadness that carefree days are ending, worries about a new teacher or classroom, and—especially for internationally mobile families—the additional challenge of returning to a school environment after weeks of travel, different routines, or time spent in another country.

For families living abroad, the transition back to school can involve more than simply getting up earlier. Children may be moving between languages and cultures, returning to an international school, starting at a new school, or reconnecting with friends after a long absence.

Some children may even be experiencing a form of “reverse transition”: after feeling at home during a visit to their country of origin, they now have to readjust to everyday life abroad.

The good news is that children generally adapt well when adults provide predictability, connection, preparation and emotional support.

Research on expatriate children has also found that secure attachment and family cohesion are important protective factors during intercultural adjustment.

Here are evidence-informed ways to make the return to school smoother.

1. Start adjusting routines before the first day

Summer often means later bedtimes, sleeping in, flexible meals and fewer fixed commitments. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this flexibility. However, returning abruptly to a completely different schedule can make the first school days unnecessarily difficult.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends moving children towards earlier bedtimes one to two weeks before school starts, while maintaining a consistent bedtime and calming bedtime routine.

Rather than changing everything at once, gradually move bedtime and wake-up time earlier. You can also begin reintroducing familiar school-day anchors:

• regular breakfast and mealtimes

• getting dressed at approximately the same time each morning

• packing a school bag

• reading or quiet time in the evening

• a predictable bedtime routine

• regular physical activity

For children who have been travelling, remember that jet lag can make this process harder. Give their bodies time to adjust rather than interpreting tiredness or irritability as unwillingness to cooperate.

2. Prioritize sleep over “catching up” academically

Sleep is one of the most powerful—and often underestimated—ways to prepare for a successful school year.

The CDC recommends 9–12 hours of sleep for children aged 6–12 and 8–10 hours for teenagers aged 13–18. Adequate sleep supports attention, concentration, emotional wellbeing and school performance.

Research following children through the transition into kindergarten has also found that regular nighttime sleep, particularly 10 or more hours for younger children, was associated with more favorable social-emotional, learning and academic adjustment.

So, in the final weeks of summer, you do not need to fill every afternoon with worksheets or academic preparation. A rested brain is better prepared to learn.

A simple evening rhythm might be:

Dinner → prepare for tomorrow → screens off → shower/bath → reading → bed

Keeping devices out of the bedroom and creating a consistent wind-down period can also support healthier sleep habits.

3. Talk about the return to school—but don't turn it into an interrogation

Children do not always say, “I am anxious about going back to school.”

Instead, worries may appear as:

• “I don't want to go.”

• stomachaches or headaches

• difficulty falling asleep

• irritability

• clinginess

• repeated questions about school

• unusually strong reactions to small things

Make space for conversations without demanding that your child feel positive about the return.

Instead of:

“Are you excited to go back to school?”

try:

“What are you looking forward to, and what might feel difficult?”

Or:

“Is there anything about going back that you are wondering about?”

For an internationally mobile child, you might ask more specifically:

“What feels familiar about going back? What feels different?”

The aim is not to eliminate every worry. It is to communicate:

“Whatever you are feeling, you don't have to manage it alone.”

4. Prepare for the practical unknowns

Predictability can reduce unnecessary stress.

If your child is returning to the same school, talk through what the first morning will look like. If possible, look at the timetable, school map, teacher information or class list together.

For a child starting at a new school, consider:

• visiting the school beforehand

• practising the journey

• finding out where to enter the building

• identifying important adults

• checking what they need to bring

• finding out how lunch and breaks work

• discussing how they can ask for help

The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly recommends preparing children for a new school environment and reducing first-day stress through practical preparation.

For younger children, a simple visual morning routine can be particularly helpful.

5. Remember that international children may be managing several transitions at once

For families living abroad, “back to school” may mean more than returning to a classroom.

Your child may simultaneously be:

• switching between languages

• reconnecting with friends from different countries

• returning from a long visit to family abroad

• adjusting to a different cultural environment

• starting at an international school

• adapting to a new curriculum

• missing people they saw during the summer

• wondering where they belong

Research on expatriate families identifies school changes, loss of social networks, making new friends, language learning, uncertainty and questions of cultural identity as potential challenges for children living abroad.

This is why an apparently small difficulty—such as not wanting to attend a birthday party or being unusually quiet after school—may sometimes reflect a larger adjustment process.

Give your child time to reconnect.

6. Make room for mixed feelings about “home”

International children can have complicated relationships with the idea of home.

Perhaps your child spent six weeks with grandparents and cousins and now misses them intensely. Perhaps they loved speaking their heritage language every day. Perhaps they discovered that the country they visit is no longer quite the same as they remembered.

Instead of expecting them to simply “be happy to be back,” acknowledge the loss.

You might say:

“It makes sense that you miss everyone. You can be happy to be home and still miss being there.”

This is especially important for children who move frequently. Their emotional world may include several places, languages and communities simultaneously.

Rather than asking, “Where is your real home?”, it can be more supportive to help them develop a sense that they can belong in more than one place.

7. Reconnect socially before expecting everything to feel normal

Friendships are often one of the biggest sources of both excitement and anxiety at the beginning of a school year.

A child may worry:

Will my friends still want to play with me?

What if everyone has changed?

What if I don't fit in anymore?

If practical, arrange a low-pressure playdate or meet-up with one familiar friend before school starts. For older children, encourage them to reconnect independently through messaging, sports or another shared activity.

Don't worry if friendships don't immediately feel exactly as they did before the summer. Children often need time to re-establish their social rhythm.

8. Don't try to “fix” every difficult feeling

A common parental instinct is to immediately solve a child's anxiety:

“Don't worry. You'll be fine.”

Although well intentioned, reassurance can sometimes unintentionally communicate that worrying is something the child shouldn't be doing.

Instead, validate and support:

“Starting again can feel uncomfortable. Let's think about what would make the first day a little easier.”

This approach combines emotional validation with practical problem-solving.

The goal is not “My child must feel completely confident before school starts.”

The goal is:

“My child knows that difficult feelings are manageable and that support is available.”

9. Keep the first weeks intentionally simple

The first weeks of school already demand a lot of adaptation.

Try not to schedule every afternoon with extracurricular activities, social events and academic catch-up. Children need downtime to process the day.

Protect opportunities for:

• sleep

• outdoor play

• movement

• family meals

• unstructured play

• reading

• talking

• quiet time

Healthy routines involving sleep, physical activity, nutrition and balanced screen use support children's overall wellbeing and school functioning.

For international families, this can also be a valuable period to maintain family rituals that create continuity across cultures—for example, cooking a familiar meal, speaking a heritage language at home, or having a regular weekly video call with relatives abroad.

10. Watch the pattern, not just the first few days

Some resistance, tiredness or emotionality during the first days of school is completely understandable.

Instead of asking, “Is my child struggling?”, look at the trajectory.

Are things gradually becoming easier?

Is your child reconnecting with friends?

Are mornings becoming more manageable?

Is sleep returning to normal?

Are they talking about positive experiences as well as difficult ones?

If significant anxiety, sadness, school refusal, physical complaints or behavioural changes persist or interfere substantially with daily life, it may be worth talking with your child's teacher, school counsellor, GP or child psychologist.

Early support is not a sign that something is seriously wrong. Sometimes children simply need additional help navigating a transition.

A gentle back-to-school mindset

Perhaps the most important thing parents can offer at the end of summer is not a perfectly organized schedule.

It is connection and confidence.

Your child does not need to feel excited about every aspect of returning to school. They do not need to have the perfect morning routine on day one. And they certainly do not need to spend the final weeks of summer preparing academically for every possible challenge.

They need enough sleep, predictable routines, opportunities to reconnect, space to talk about their feelings and the reassurance that they have people beside them as they adjust.

For international families, transitions are part of life. Each transition can also become an opportunity to help children develop flexibility, self-awareness and confidence in navigating different people, places and cultures.

At Baumgarten Child Psychology and More, we believe that supporting children through transitions means looking beyond behaviour and asking what the child may be experiencing underneath it.

A difficult first morning does not mean a difficult school year.

Sometimes it simply means:

“This is new again. I need a little time—and I need you with me.”

Sources

• American Academy of Pediatrics: guidance on back-to-school preparation and healthy sleep routines.

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: sleep recommendations and the relationship between sleep, attention, wellbeing and academic functioning.

• Pediatrics: longitudinal research on sleep regularity and children's adjustment to kindergarten.

• Research on expatriate children's intercultural adjustment and the protective role of attachment and family cohesion.

  
  

This article provides general psychoeducational information and is not a substitute for an individual psychological assessment or professional advice.