Praise Addiction in Children: When Encouragement Becomes a Dependence

Praise is one of the most powerful tools parents and teachers use to encourage children. A simple “Well done!” or “I’m proud of you” can boost motivation, confidence, and joy. But recent psychological research suggests that in some cases, children may become overly dependent on praise.   

When this happens, encouragement can shift from being supportive to something children feel they need in order to feel good about themselves.

A recent study by Eddie Brummelman, Stathis Grapsas, and Reinout W. Wiers (2026) introduces the concept of praise addiction—a pattern in which children constantly seek praise and experience distress when they do not receive it. Understanding this phenomenon can help parents support healthy self-esteem while avoiding unintended pressure.

What Is Praise Addiction?

In their research, Brummelman and colleagues define praise addiction as a strong reliance on praise characterized by:

• Constantly seeking praise from others

• Prioritizing actions that might lead to praise

• Feeling upset or distressed when praise is absent

While most children enjoy praise—and benefit from it—praise addiction is different. It reflects an emotional dependence on external validation rather than an internal sense of satisfaction.

Importantly, the researchers found that average levels of praise addiction among children were low, but there were meaningful differences between children.

How the Study Worked

The researchers studied 221 children aged 7–13 and one of their parents. They used several methods to understand how praise addiction works in everyday life:

• A new parent-report measure designed to capture praise addiction traits

• Self-reports from children about their cravings for praise

• An experimental task where children could work harder to receive praise, similar to methods used in addiction research

This multi-method approach allowed the researchers to observe not only what children said about praise, but also how strongly they pursued it.

What the Researchers Found

The study revealed several important patterns among children who scored higher in praise addiction:

1. Lower self-esteem

Children who relied heavily on praise tended to feel less confident about themselves.

2. Greater sensitivity to rewards

These children were especially motivated by positive feedback.

3. Stronger parental overvaluation

Parents of these children were more likely to communicate that their child was exceptionally special or superior to others.

4. Lower parental warmth

Interestingly, praise addiction was linked withlessparental warmth and emotional support.

5. Strong effort to obtain praise

When given the opportunity, children higher in praise addiction were willing to work harder and harder to receive praise—even when the effort required increased.

Praise Addiction vs. Narcissism

The study also examined whether praise addiction is simply another form of narcissism. The findings suggest it is not the same thing.

Children who showed higher narcissistic traits did not have lower self-esteem, were not more sensitive to rewards, and did not work harder to obtain praise. Instead, they simply reported stronger cravings for praise.

In contrast, children with praise addiction seemed to actively pursue praise as a way to regulate their self-worth.

Why This Matters for Parents

Praise remains an important part of healthy parenting. The goal is not to eliminate praise, but to use it in ways that support internal motivation and genuine self-esteem.

Research suggests a few helpful guidelines:

Focus on effort rather than identity

Instead of “You’re the smartest child,” try “You worked really hard on that.”

Balance praise with warmth and connection

Children need affection, attention, and emotional safety—not just compliments.

Encourage intrinsic motivation

Ask questions like “How do you feel about what you made?” to help children develop internal pride.

Avoid overvaluation

When praise suggests a child is superior to others, it can create pressure rather than confidence.

Supporting Healthy Self-Worth

Children thrive when they feel valued not only for what they achieve, but for who they are. Encouragement works best when it is authentic, balanced, and combined with warmth.

When praise helps children notice their effort, persistence, and growth, it strengthens resilience and independence. When it becomes something they constantly chase, it may signal a deeper need for reassurance.

As parents and caregivers, the goal is not to praise more or less—but to praise wisely.

Reference

Brummelman, E., Grapsas, S., & Wiers, R. W. (2026). Praise addiction in children. Developmental Psychology, 62(3), 597–610. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0001974