Raising honest children: the power of sharing your feelings

As parents, fostering honesty in our children is a universal aspiration. A recent study highlighted by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley reveals a compelling approach: openly sharing your emotional responses to honesty and dishonesty can significantly encourage truthful behavior in young children .

Understanding the Emotional Connection

The study involved children aged three to six who were given opportunities to cheat during a game. Researchers discovered that when adults expressed their feelings about honesty—such as saying, "I feel proud when you tell the truth"—children were more inclined to act honestly. This suggests that children are responsive not just to rules but to the emotional context provided by their caregivers.

Practical Strategies for Parents

1. Express Your Feelings Clearly

Instead of solely focusing on the behavior, articulate how your child's honesty or dishonesty affects you emotionally. For example, "It makes me happy when you're truthful," or "I feel concerned when I can't trust what you're saying."

2. Create a Safe Environment for Truth-Telling

Ensure your child knows that honesty is valued and that they won't face harsh punishment for telling the truth. This encourages open communication and reduces fear-based lying.

3. Model Honest Behavior

Children learn by example. Demonstrate honesty in your daily interactions, and discuss the importance of truthfulness in age-appropriate ways.

Cultural Sensitivity in Diverse Households

For international families, it's essential to recognize that cultural norms around honesty can vary. Engage in conversations about these differences, and explain the values upheld in your household. This helps children navigate varying expectations and understand the importance of honesty within your family's context.

Take home message

By sharing your feelings about honesty, you not only guide your child's behavior but also strengthen your emotional connection. This approach fosters an environment where honesty is understood, valued, and practiced.