Why Grandparents Matter More Than Ever for Children's Mental Health

As a child psychologist, I spend much of my time helping children and families navigate the challenges of growing up in today's world. Increasingly, I see children struggling with anxiety, sadness, perfectionism, loneliness, and the pressures of modern life. While there is no single solution to these challenges, recent research highlights an often-overlooked source of support: grandparents.

This topic feels especially meaningful to me personally. Having recently become a grandparent myself, I have found myself reflecting not only on what children need to thrive, but also on the unique role grandparents can play in a child's emotional development.

A recent article published by Taylor & Francis Group and featured in ScienceDaily summarized the work of psychologist Dr. Kenneth Barish, who argues that grandparents may be one of the most powerful resources available to support children's mental health (Taylor & Francis Group, 2026). Drawing on decades of clinical experience and research in child development, Dr. Barish reminds us of something that many families instinctively know: children benefit enormously from having caring adults in their lives beyond their parents.

The Power of Feeling Understood

One of the most striking points in the research is that children need someone who will listen to them. Not someone who immediately solves their problems, lectures them, or evaluates their performance—but someone who genuinely listens.

According to Dr. Barish, a child's expectation that someone will listen and understand them is one of the strongest protections against emotional difficulties. Children who feel heard are more likely to develop resilience, confidence, and healthy coping skills.

Grandparents are often uniquely positioned to provide this kind of support. They may have more time, more patience, and a broader perspective gained from years of life experience. A grandparent's calm presence can help a child feel less alone when facing disappointment, friendship struggles, school stress, or difficult emotions.

Beyond Achievement

Many children today grow up in environments where achievement receives a great deal of attention. Good grades, sports performance, extracurricular activities, and future success can sometimes overshadow equally important values such as kindness, empathy, and connection.

Dr. Barish notes that a strong focus on achievement alone can contribute to anxiety and stress. Children need a sense of purpose that extends beyond personal success. Research has shown that helping others is associated with higher self-esteem, lower rates of depression, and greater overall well-being.

Grandparents often help children develop this broader perspective naturally. Through stories, family traditions, volunteering together, and conversations about caring for others, they can teach lessons about compassion, gratitude, and community that remain with children throughout their lives.

Small Moments Matter

One of my favorite concepts from the article is what Dr. Barish calls "molecules of emotional health." These are the small everyday moments that build a child's emotional resilience: a warm smile, genuine interest, encouragement after a setback, sharing a laugh, or simply spending time together.

As parents, we sometimes feel pressure to create perfect experiences for our children. In reality, it is often the ordinary moments that matter most.

A grandparent who attends a school performance, asks about a child's favorite book, listens to a long story about a playground adventure, or bakes cookies together is doing something much bigger than it may appear. These moments help build a child's emotional foundation.

The Importance of Encouragement

Another important message from the research is the potential harm of excessive criticism. Dr. Barish points out that criticism rarely motivates children in the way adults hope it will. Instead, frequent criticism can undermine confidence and create resentment.

Children thrive when adults notice effort, persistence, and growth. Rather than focusing solely on outcomes, we can help children develop resilience by recognizing their hard work, curiosity, and willingness to keep trying.

Grandparents often excel at this. They may be less focused on day-to-day performance and more able to celebrate the child for who they are becoming.

A Team Approach to Raising Children

Perhaps the most important takeaway is that raising emotionally healthy children has never been meant to be a solo endeavor. Throughout human history, children were raised within communities of caring adults.

Modern families often face significant pressures and isolation. Parents are balancing work, family responsibilities, and the many demands of daily life. In this context, grandparents can provide not only practical support but also emotional connection and stability.

Not every child has grandparents who live nearby or who can play an active role. However, the underlying principle remains important: children benefit from having multiple trusted adults who care about them and are invested in their well-being.

As both a child psychologist and a new grandparent, I find this message hopeful. Supporting children's mental health does not always require complicated interventions. Sometimes it begins with something much simpler: spending time together, listening carefully, and letting a child know they matter.

Those moments may seem small, but their impact can last a lifetime.

Reference

Taylor & Francis Group. (2026, June 13). Why grandparents matter more than ever for children's mental health. ScienceDaily. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/06/260613034206.htm