When Popularity Comes at a Cost: What New Research Tells Us About Empathy in Teens

At Baumgarten Child Psychology and More, we’re always looking at the latest research and asking: What does this mean for the children, teens, and families we work with? A recent study in Developmental Psychology (Field et al., 2025) caught our attention because it looks at two things that matter deeply during adolescence—popularity and empathy—and reveals a surprising twist.

Popularity vs. Likability: Not the Same Thing

Many people use “popular” and “likable” as if they mean the same thing, but psychologists make an important distinction:

• Popularity is about social visibility and influence—the kids everyone knows, whether or not they’re universally liked.

  
  

• Likability is about being well-liked on a personal level—peers genuinely enjoy spending time with you.

  
  

This study followed 893 sixth- and seventh-graders in rural U.S. schools over four years, tracking both types of peer status and two kinds of empathy:

1. Empathic concern – feeling compassion for others in distress.

2. Perspective taking – being able to see a situation from someone else’s point of view.

The Key Findings

Here’s what stood out:

• Popularity and empathy can work against each other. Teens who became more popular over time often showed decreases in empathic concern. And, interestingly, when empathic concern increased, popularity sometimes went down.

• Likability and empathy go hand in hand. Teens who were more likable also tended to have higher, more stable empathy—both in concern and in perspective taking. These traits seemed to reinforce each other over time.

• Perspective taking played a smaller role. Popularity wasn’t linked to losing perspective taking in the same way it was to losing empathic concern, but higher perspective taking sometimes predicted drops in popularity.

What Might Be Going On?

The authors suggest that popular teens may sometimes dial down their empathy as a social strategy—perhaps to maintain status in competitive peer environments. In contrast, likable teens may maintain consistent empathy because it’s part of what makes them well-liked.

This paints a picture where popularity can be socially advantageous but emotionally risky if it encourages prioritizing influence over compassion.

How We Can Apply This in Practice

At Baumgarten Child Psychology and More, this research reinforces something we see often: peer dynamics can shape social-emotional growth in powerful ways.

Here’s how findings like these influence our work:

• Helping teens reflect on social goals. We explore with adolescents what kind of friendships they want—not just how many people know their name.

• Supporting empathy in high-status students. For popular teens, we focus on maintaining compassion and perspective taking, even when social pressures push the other way.

• Valuing likability as a strength. We encourage teens to see being genuinely liked—and being kind—as an equally valuable form of social “success.”

Takeaway for Parents and Educators

Popularity isn’t automatically bad, but it’s not the same as being well-liked—and it doesn’t always encourage empathy. Creating spaces where teens can be socially connected and compassionate may be one of the most important things we can do to support their long-term social health.

Because in the end, the goal isn’t just raising kids who are noticed—it’s raising kids who notice others, and care.